TWO SURPRISES (KEEP READING)!
So i'm going to spill the beans early on my big life changing news (simply because I need the prayers)! In 3 short days I am going to be getting lasik eye surgery. YES! I am finally going to live my life free of the hassle of glasses/contacts. I couldn't be more happy and terrified all at the same time. I will have 15 minutes of pure torture and terror to have the rest of my life free! I have though about this long and hard trust me. This has been on my heart ever since I was 13 years old. I have just been waiting for the green light, when my eyes stopped changing. As of this past February, my eye prescription had stopped getting worse. It has been stable now for almost 2 years and the doctors said with my age and my eyes, it is the perfect time to do lasik. I didn't waste time and immediately said yes, scheduled a consultation, and started doing as much research as possible.
I had my consultation two months ago and passed with flying colors ready to schedule my procedure. It will be Tuesday May 23rd and that day keeps getting here quicker and quicker. I get more scared by the day but I am trying not to think about it too much. I am just focused on the after, when I never have to wear glasses or try to fight with contacts ever again. I may be sounding dramatic to some but I've lived with glasses 24/7 for the past 10+ years and it has been so far from fun. I could never properly do sports because I struggled so much with contacts and I would get hit in the face with the soccer ball, dent my glasses frames, or get them knocked off in tennis, or slide down my nose when I got sweaty. I constantly fight with keeping my glasses clean sometimes having to clean them up to 6 times a day. Over the years I have gotten permanent scratches on my glasses having my mom buy new lenses and/or frames a lot :/. It is just not ideal for me and my athletic lifestyle. Plus when I swim, go to water parks, take showers, or wake up in the morning, I can't see. Like, not even shapes of figures kind of see. I have very poor vision and when I go to water parks I get lost and will have NO idea how big the park is, where the rides are, I can't see people's faces, it is bad. I mean I honestly can make a list of 1,000 things that I can't/couldn't do with glasses. I have been looking forward to with everything in me, to the age when it was acceptable to get lasik (22) and then waiting until my eyes stabilize.
I am so excited for the after part. Once my procedure is done and it is a week after my surgery and my eyes have relatively healed, I am a free lady! I get to reap the benefits of my torture! I am so incredibly stoked to do the things I've been dying to do without glasses. I can't even wrap my head around the sheer fact of being able to see when I wake up and not having to have prescription sunglasses outside. I literally can't understand how my eyes can be "fixed"! I absolutely can't understand. It is literally a miracle. I swear after surgery I will be looking everywhere for my glasses out of habit. I can't believe that when I go to the beach I can be in the water looking at the ocean. I can't believe it. I am so excited! Cody and I have planned a beach trip for next summer to celebrate! I have already bought a beautiful pair of sunglasses that I could never wear before because I wouldn't be able to see while driving. Guys this is going to change my life and I am so excited!
After the surgery I will have to sleep with eye guards for a while and will have to put eye drops in my eyes throughout the day but that's a minor inconvenience. I can handle that. At work I will have to avoid dusty environments for a week until my eyes heal. I am nervous out of my mind for Tuesday May 23rd but I will have an amazing surgeon that I trust and I've got God looking after me. Also I will be having all of your prayers shower down on me. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you that i'm so nervous. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a month. The thoughts of the surgery and details of the surgery have crossed my mind almost every hour. I also worry about freaking out too bad on my surgery day that I may not even have the courage to do it. I am so freaked out and nervous about someone touching my eye none the less cutting on it and zapping it with a laser. It messes with my mind. So PLEASE IF ANYTHING ELSE PRAY FOR ME. From 3:30-7:00pm next Tuesday I will need your constant prayers and thoughts to even help me make it through this tough day. If I could only get past those 15 minutes I've got it made. You can do anything for 15 minutes right? I'm just so blessed I will have Cody by my side during surgery and my mom taking care of me that day and the next. They are my lifesavers, both taking off of school in their busiest times of the school year. I am so blessed for them! You better believe I will be a praying maniac all of Tuesday, but I know with God with me, I will be ok! Again, I would never ask for anything but I am now, pray for me, I've never been able to handle anything regarding eyes and this will take a true miracle for me to get through, but I have faith! I will tell you more about the procedure and the after, in my next post. I'm just too freaked out and nervous now to go into the details. When I blog next you will be hearing all about how it went and I will be glasses and hassle free!
So onto the next big surprise! As I have mentioned to you a few months ago, Cody has officially begun graduate school and I am so incredibly proud of him! His first day was May 8th and he has been knocking it out of the park! He stays on top of all of his assignments, and will stay up as late as it takes to complete all of his work. He is juggling all of this on top of finishing out the school year, spring football practice, and keeping up with me;). The summer months will be easier on him with school not in session but it will make up for it in the fall. He will have countless nights of hardly any sleep (like this past week) during actual football season. And I will seriously have to pick up the slack around the 'house'. It will be like that for this football season and the next, but he will be completely done the second week of May 2019. But don't worry about me lol, Cody not having school in the summer can help pick up the slack for me (especially during VBS week for me) and always makes delicious dinners for us when I come home from work. He is such a sweetheart! Cody is loving his masters degree in teaching so far and is loving the classes. I will keep updating you on this!
On to Mothers Day! Well since my sister has started her internship at Eastman this past week, (I know big exciting things are happening around here!) over Mother's Day my mom was up in Kingsport helping my sister move into her apartment and we weren't able to celebrate. Morgan was able to celebrate with her and take her out to dinner but I will celebrate with mom when she comes down for my surgery. The following weekend we will take her to a tea room for lunch and later on, a trip to the Knoxville Zoo! I can't wait to celebrate mom because she deserves the world and is such an incredible person! I love my mom so much and always strive to be like her. She is the greatest role model in my life and always will be! She is so strong and independent!
With this being the first Mother's Day that has past being married, It honestly feels different, and that was so unexpected for me. It was such a strange feeling and surprised me. I think Mother's Day for women, between when they get married and are actually pregnant with their first child, are odd because they are in limbo. Between that time gap, motherhood is a complete real possibility but hasn't happened yet, and in a small strange strange way, you actually do feel like a mother but have to remind yourself that you aren't. I don't know, maybe it's God working in your life and heart, showing you in your heart a little glimpse into your future? Like at church when the preacher recognized all the mothers and had them stand up, it was like wait why can't I stand up? I could be a mother any day if I decided and it is strong on my heart to do so one day. Without a doubt I know that is what I am called to do, be a mother; I can just feel it. So when I wasn't able to stand up as one of the mothers I had a feeling of slight hurt because I feel my future kids are so real. What makes it any different from me now and me in 7 years when I have kids. I know the obvious answer is duh, the KIDS!!?! But I am me and still will be me and have and will always have that strong desire to be a mother, that is what God has called me to do. I will feel that same way now and in 7 years. God already knows my future kids. He knows them really well. He already knows what they are going to look like, think like, and what his purpose for them is. He is just waiting to send them to Cody and I in his perfect timing. So mothers day for me just feels so strange now. Maybe it is because I am just that one step closer to actually understanding what it is to be a mom and one step closer to actually being a mom? I am in the age to be a mother, and I am in the right time to become a mother, marriage. So it feels so strange, should they honor future moms? I feel the love and hopes and desires for my future kids now as I will in 7 years, I think about them quite often actually. Sorry I just thought I would share, It is strongly on my heart and I feel so passionate and excited about God's biggest plan for me that I know of in the future (if that really is his plan for me)! :)
P.S. CODY AND I ARE 2 WEEKS AWAY FROM OUR 1ST ANNIVERSARY! We are excited over the moon and will be definitely be posting about our long weekend getaway anniversary trip! On a few days before our anniversary I will be posting a blog about what we have learned in our first year of marriage, and later a post about our actual getaway. I will also be posing a series of instagram's on the day after our anniversary of a few more of our favorite wedding pictures you may or may have not already seen. So be sure to head over there too within the next 3 weeks! Instagram name: kayla_raborn
With so much love,
Kayla Raborn
5-20-17
