10 things I have learned in the first month of marriage:
(remember this does not exactly pertain to us, but is what we have observed that could or may have arisen)
1. Go to bed with the house in order.
If you don't, you will never ever catch up. Seriously. Start with a clean slate every morning. Especially with the dishes!!!! Seriously!!
2. Say I love you a lot.
You are each others priority and only each other. Family may have trouble adjusting to your new normal so keep each other first, and communicate effectively.
3. Take a lot of time for one another because this is your foundation for the rest of your marriage. Gaze into each other's eyes and hold hands, treat each other with love and respect as you adjust to living together in the same space. Treat everyday like you just started dating, lovey-dovey. This trains you to never lose that new luster of the newlywed life and will help carry it on to the rest of your marriage. You never know the future and when kids will pop up! This is the time to establish the "us". Treat it with the upmost importance.
4. Don't be selfish with bed space.
Don't push your spouse onto the floor on accident or on purpose. Learn what new space is now yours and what is not. You are no longer the only one in the bed!!!
5. Save all the money you can. But do spend some to make each other feel special.
Saving is extremely important but if you put that over everything else, it gets in the way of your relationship after a while. There are so many other more important in life like making memories. Save some money just for the 'Lets just go's' spur of the moment short trips or decisions. So buy those waterpark tickets for a day trip every now and then.
6. Don't generalize and use 'always' or 'never'. It never ends well. Lol!
When you use these words negatively it can bring points and frustrations to a new level of hurt, such as when you are frustrated when your spouse hasn't done his/her part with the laundry and you say impulsively, you 'never' do the laundry. Well that's not true, and that could be hurtful. It immediately shuts each other down and the lines of good communication are temporarily destroyed. That tears down your spouse, not builds him/her up.
7. Bring each other up not tear each other down.
You are each other's biggest supporters, don't wound the heart with harsh words!
8. Against contrary beliefs, go to bed frustrated.
You will have a clearer head in the morning and a new outlook on the situation! But don't forget to address the issue before leaving bed to start the day.
9. Be understanding.
You both have made some pretty life changing changes lately. Give each other slack during the adjustment period. Rome wasn't built in a day.
10. Enjoy the new interests and lifestyles you have found together.
Thought you knew everything about each other? Wrong! You don't truly know each other until you actually are married and living together. It is so different! (In a good way) Embrace new interests/hobbies openly that each other has possibly found. Life is a continual growth, constantly moving, changing, and progressing for the better! For example, you spouse has found extreme interest and job opportunity living in Colorado,.... don't shoot it down. Discus how this could or couldn't be a possibility, and give each side of the idea equal thought and consideration both ways. (remember this does not exactly pertain to us, we love Tennessee!)
All-in-all marriage is the greatest gift from God on earth, and I highly suggest it for everyone! I hope you like what I have learned in our first month of marriage!
With love,
Kayla Raborn
7-4-16
