Newest Raborns on the Block!: My Second Mother's Day

Mother's Day can look different for every woman, the Mothers in waiting, the Mothers who are unable to have children, the ones who unfairly have to pay an arm and a leg for even a chance for a baby (IVF), the Mothers that have lost babies in pregnancy, stillbirth, or older children, and the Mothers to one child or multiple, this day can look so different to all. I wasn't going to say anything today, but today is technically my second Mother's Day. I am still a mother even though my child is not here on this earth with us, but is in heaven. We told our families we were pregnant on mothers day last year only to have unknowingly lost the baby's beating heart 2 days prior. He or she would have been over 4 months old right now. It's the what would have beens and what if's that get me, the life and new path I thought I would be living right now that's not. While I don't feel ready to try for another baby, I am self reflecting, getting healthier, saving money, focusing on family, loving Lucy, and praying that our time to try again will come soon in my heart and it will be a healthy pregnancy Lord willing. I just don't want to go through all that again. It's the unknown and unpromised that is the most unsettling. The fear of what if I never become a mother to a child on this earth. Today is supposed to be a happy day and it is when viewed with Hope, and that is how I have chosen today to be. The mothers in my life and my precious mom make today special, and the love they share with me. I hope I can be even half the mom my mom was to Morgan and I, even as she has her own difficult journey getting Morgan and I here 27+ years ago. My mom is a special woman who took her title of Mom as the upmost priority in her life and it shows. I am honored to be her daughter. Being a mom is the most important, trusted, and special job in the entire world, and I can't wait to join the team with her one day Lord willing.

The day of Mother's Day was sweet being able to spend time with family. No one quite knows what to say to you, to wish you a happy mothers day, to discuss anything about it or to acknowledge the baby lost. Honestly there isn't a right answer when navigating a situation like that. It is completely up to the individual on how they feel. In my opinion, in advance, ask that person how they want it to be handled and/or take their lead. If they talk about it, engage in the conversation. If they don't and they mentioned in advance they don't want to be reminded, don't bring it up but please still wish other's happy mothers day and don't just act like it is an ordinary day around us just because of us. With one side of Cody's family, no one dared even say happy mother's day or acknowledge it to my sister in law or mother in law because I was there even though we were there to celebrate mother's day. That's just weird. Or on one side of my family, not to text it in our group text (which we would have normally and do every major even and holiday for years) because it's awkward to you. For me personally, I would have liked to have been told happy mothers day or asked about how old our baby would have been now or talk about the future or heck even when we are excited to try again or how the heck I'm doing with it all. Anything. Even if I had expressed that, I still wouldn't have gotten that because people get uncomfortable. One thing I loved was unprovoked, friends and one family member said happy mother's day to me. They get it and most importantly they get me and that meant the absolute world to me. Like I said, everyone is different so just kindly ask :).

As a mother's day gift I purchased 3 peony bushes to place in my flower bed. I got Two white Peony's and one pink!

For now, this is my baby and I love every second of her cuddles💗💗

May was a busy busy busy month, we finished out Cody's 4th year at Soddy Daisy and 6th year total in teaching, and kicked off summer football. The dress above is what I wore to the football banquet. Normally it is freezing when the banquet occurs because it is in December but this year because of covid they had to postpone it to the end of the year. I liked it much better because I could wear a short sleeved item and a dress!

We also went on a nice long hike with mom celebrating with her! We loved it! Any time with mom is so special.

Also towards the end of May, Cody's brother Tyler came home from his new job in Iowa for 5 days to visit and celebrate his 30th birthday!

We took Tyler on the white oak mountain trails and now we have another fan of the trails! Lucy loved it too, this was her 4th time here.

We also threw a surprise party for Tyler, he knew we were having a cookout but not a surprise party for him. 30 is a big year and typically the thing to do now is have your spouse throw you a surprise 30th bday party and since Tyler is still trying to find the one, we took maters into our own hands for his party.